I haven’t blogged for a week. My inbox is full, my mailbox is full and I am too drained to write some of the people I should write to, to explain myself. It is for this reason, a WT lazy reason, I am blogging about a personal family issue. LOL. I am actually blogging about this because this is a personal blog and I try to be pretty honest, open in my blogging. I have to balance some of the stuff that is going on here at home with the privacy of my daughter, so here’s what I can tell you via this public record:
My daughter has learning issues that stem from the fact that she’s really intelligent and verbal—-but she has problems processing information, problems with her “working memory” and executive functioning.
Executive functioning is a term used to describe a set of mental processes that helps us connect past experience with present action. We use executive function when we perform such activities as planning, organizing, creating strategies and paying attention to and remembering details.
Working memory is just a fancy word short-term memory. It describes the brain’s ability to store recent information temporarily, but also to use and make sense of it.
My dd is “hard wired” differently than most people. She’s been tested and evaluated by some of the leading “experts” in the area of learning disabilities in our area. She has been poked, evaluated and looked at by some of the best experts around. But summer, before she began at high school that I began to realize that the “experts” might have missed something, that there was something that maybe the experts missed.
I looked over some of the evaluations from the experts. I stumbled upon some information that was significant that had been missed by doctors (and teachers, and specialists).
I realize anything to do with the brain is tough to call and I realize it’s hard to do. But as a mom I feel helpless because I was putting my faith in a number of different “experts” who I thought would be able to tell me something more than I knew myself.
It turns out that kids with my daughter’s issues:
As these children enter the middle school and high school, they are left to handle more tasks on their own, things rapidly begin to deteriorate.
They get lost, forget to do homework, seem unprepared for class, have difficulty following directions, struggle with math, can’t read their social studies textbook, can’t write an essay, continually misunderstand both their teachers and their peers, and are often anxious in public and angry at home.
They are accused of being lazy, rude, uncooperative, and worse. Nothing could be farther from the truth! They are hardworking, persistent, goal-oriented, and incredibly honest.
If the child has not benefited from diagnosis and an intervention plan at this point, the cognitive, social, and emotional demands of high school years and beyond can be overwhelming.
Non-verbal learning issues are less apparent at the age of 7 to 8 years than at 10 to 14 years.
These issues become progressively more apparent (and more debilitating) as adulthood approaches
Where We Are Now
I took the information I had and I showed it to a team of doctors who looked at the tests with a trained eye. I don’t want to go into more detail because of her privacy and because of the fact that once it’s out on the internet, it’s in the public record forever.
I also found out that kids that have the hard wiring issues often “shut down” or become locked into an oppositional struggle, as a coping mechanism to deal with the academic pressures and performance demands which have been placed upon him by unsuspecting parents and teachers and which he is unable to meet.
We saw her “shutting down” in a way that was not healthy, we pulled her from her current school situation and we are working with the school system with home tutors sent my our district, until we can work out things. I can’t say a lot more because I have probably said too much already.
I am completely wiped out. I trust not one of the experts because I finally realized that many of them are just pulling their information out of the asses, because NO ONE REALLY KNOWS THAT MUCH RIGHT NOW.
I went to an IEP meeting the other day. One of the people that was supposed to be her on site advocate…did not know who she was.
My sister is a teacher. I know the system has too many kids, not enough resources. But I wish I had known last year what I did this year but that is water under the bridge.
I feel as if I have failed my daughter. I know in my head I didn’t but in my heart it is hard not to think this. I believed the experts when I should have pushed on. I wish I could have a do over. I guess life is just like that. I just feel so lousy for my dd, as she is my kid who had the bully issues when she was younger, which still haunt her.
If you have a mean comment for me, do me a favor and don’t leave it. I just wanted you all to know the scoop. I have not blogged about it but thought I should because it’s a part of my life and this is my blog.
Have a good weekend. Things are looking up and I’m thankful that we have the information we do now. But the past month has drained me and brought this WT mom to her knees.
I just want to get my daughter the stuff she needs so she can be who she wants to be and have a great life.