I’ve been trying to find a holiday dress for my 10-year-old. Her school holiday program is tomorrow night. I just don’t want her to look like a hooker for the 5th grade Christmas program at our Catholic school. I guess I am asking too much because I haven’t been able to find anything. Here are my options:

Hooker Cocktail Wear-Push up bra tops and backless dresses just don’t sit well with me…for a 5th grade girl. I guess I am one of just a few moms that are this “uptight” because these dresses are EVERYWHERE.

Juicy Couture Sweat suit-Call me conservative. I don’t think having JUICY on the butt of your pants or back of your jacket is appropriate for a holiday outfit. My tween claims it’s fine with a straight face. Scary.

Fairy Dust from Hell-My youngest daughter has gone through the glitter stage and used to love sparkly stuff on her clothes. Unfortunately, she is now out of this stage at a time when every single item for 10 year old girls has glitter. It’s like a drunk fairy sprinkled glitter over every inch of every retail store carrying girl’s clothing.

Taffeta Dream Creme Nightmare-If it doesn’t have glitter, a JUICY logo or look like something to wear walking the street, the dress is a nightmare of taffeta that makes my daughter look as if she is drowning in a seas of Dream Whip.

Note to self: Buy early from the catalogs next year…in July.

It’s not like I’m looking for Little House on the Prairie. I’m White Trash Mom! I am a slacker! But I have to draw the line at some of the crap I find in the stores.

What do you guys do about this problem? Would love to know!

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