I’ve been trying to find a holiday dress for my 10-year-old. Her school holiday program is tomorrow night. I just don’t want her to look like a hooker for the 5th grade Christmas program at our Catholic school. I guess I am asking too much because I haven’t been able to find anything. Here are my options:

Hooker Cocktail Wear-Push up bra tops and backless dresses just don’t sit well with me…for a 5th grade girl. I guess I am one of just a few moms that are this “uptight” because these dresses are EVERYWHERE.

Juicy Couture Sweat suit-Call me conservative. I don’t think having JUICY on the butt of your pants or back of your jacket is appropriate for a holiday outfit. My tween claims it’s fine with a straight face. Scary.

Fairy Dust from Hell-My youngest daughter has gone through the glitter stage and used to love sparkly stuff on her clothes. Unfortunately, she is now out of this stage at a time when every single item for 10 year old girls has glitter. It’s like a drunk fairy sprinkled glitter over every inch of every retail store carrying girl’s clothing.

Taffeta Dream Creme Nightmare-If it doesn’t have glitter, a JUICY logo or look like something to wear walking the street, the dress is a nightmare of taffeta that makes my daughter look as if she is drowning in a seas of Dream Whip.

Note to self: Buy early from the catalogs next year…in July.

It’s not like I’m looking for Little House on the Prairie. I’m White Trash Mom! I am a slacker! But I have to draw the line at some of the crap I find in the stores.

What do you guys do about this problem? Also, be sure to check out this really cool list of parenting life hacks. Until next time my amigos!