Who the hell decided that 5 pm should be the appropriate time for the first cocktail? I mean, what gave someone the right, 60 or 70 years ago, to be "the one" to set that standard that the rest of us alcoholics poor losers have to strive so hard to live up to? Why wasn’t it, say 4 pm or, better yet, 11 am? When you’ve got teenagers, I daresay, it ought to be adjusted on a day to day basis.
To recap our day…
Tacky Princess: So, just a reminder, you need to clean off your desk today and finish cleaning up your room.
Teen in Line (13): (with look of shock and abject horror upon face) What?
TP: Yes. Remember? We discussed this just last night. You need to clean your desk and finish picking up your room.
TIL: Today?
TP: (no, for Halloween…) Yes, that would be today.
TIL: I didn’t know you meant today.
TP: (keeping an even tone of voice) Yes, I was referring to today.
TIL: (sounding as if she has just been mortally wounded…) Oh…well, then…
TP: So, why don’t you get started, then.
I go on about my business, proceeding like the Army to flutter about the house like a whirling dervish. OK, perhaps that’s a bit of an exaggeration. However, I did accomplish a LOT today.
45 minutes later…I found my daughter where? You guessed it. Her favorite hiding place. The bathroom. She could spend the entire day in there. Her room appears to be in exactly the same state as it was 45 minutes ago.
TP: (through the door) What have you been doing?
TIL: Well, I organized my hairbrushes and stuff…
You have no idea how lucky this child is that there is a lock on her bathroom door.
Martini anyone?
5 o’clock is way too freaking late. Give me a break. When is BlogHer? Not soon enough, I assure you.
Got teenagers? Let’s hear your story. Come on, people. I need some commiseration.
Tacky Princess
WhiteTrashMom offers parenting and sanity tips for the school years. If you're new here, you may want to subscribe to our RSS feed. Thanks for stopping by.
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I’ll say nothing except that with five of us my parents are two white-haired old people who sit in the corner at family gatherings and smile a lot!
I think the same applies when you’ve got a toddler. Cocktail hour sometimes comes at 11AM.
Wow. After reading that I had a serious flashback to my childhood. I think I owe my parents an apology.
When my eldest was only three, we used to say she was 3 going on 13. Then, 4 going on 14, etc. When she was 8, I took her shopping at Stein-Mart for some “flare” style jeans. I pointed out several different possibilities, and after turning up her nose at each, she finally rolled her eyes in disgust at me and inquired in exasperation: “Do you even know what flares ARE?” To which I replied with just as much disgust, “Kid, I was wearing flares when I was 4!” Stopping dead in her tracks, she goes, “Wow, you were LUCKY!” It was hil-arious! Sometimes they do give us comic relief when we need it most!
Amen, sister! With raising teens, sometimes cracking a beer (or hitting the hard stuff) before noon is simply a necessity. I mean, isn’t that why they created the Bloody Mary in the first place?
I don’t have a teenager, but I have a 4 1/2 year old who thinks she’s a teenager and after our morning at Target.. I was wondering if 11AM was too early to crack an ice cold miller lite..
My favorite expression is “It’s JackOClock!” I don’t believe you have to set a time for that. But, I have preschoolers. I must drink for that very reason.
See you at BlogHer!
My 13 YO spent the night at a friends’ home Saturday night. And they stayed up all night, with him awakening at 1 p.m. on Sunday. Guess what? Sunday night, he couldn’t sleep. At 3 a.m. I wake up to him watching TV in the living room. I say (somewhat politely), “You NEED to go to your room. Go to bed. Now.” At 6 a.m. I wake up to him making me breakfast, never having been to bed but having been up on the roof watching the sunset. Yeah. OMG.
Girlfriend. DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED. *Sigh* Exactly 16 days and a few hours from now we’ll be far, far away…
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