Tales from the Dweeb Side – Part…OK, I Can’t Keep Track

Here’s the latest of my Tales from the Dweeb Side. For those of you just catching up, I – Tacky Princess – loooove to poke fun at myself. I’m such an easy target, you see. And since it’s been a little while since I’ve done one of my Tales from the Dweeb Side "installments", well, there’s much to share. Grab a glass of whatever you drink, and join me, why don’t you?

Tacky Princess’s Top Dweeby Moment of the Last Several Weeks:

While caravanning around St. Louis on a recent trip with my darling Girl Scouts -  – As the Queen of WT would say, dig if you will, the picture…We are at a traffic light in busy downtown St. Louis. I am busy rummaging through my purse, which is sitting ON MY LAP, for something (no, I do NOT know what!) when the light suddenly turns green. I stop rummaging (I’m not a total idiot…) and begin to make my left turn.

It is at this point that the strap of my ridiculously large handbag gets caught on a ridciculously engineered part on my steering wheel. The part is sticking out of the part of the wheel that TURNS. What engineering icon designed this little gem? So, as the wheel turns, my purse is turning with it. The strap then proceeds to get caught on yet another piece – the turn signal / headlight device / switch do-hickey. No, I am not kidding. By this time, the windshield wipers are running, and the sprayer has gone off, and the girls in my car are laughing hysterically. The people in the van behind me – laughing uncontrollably, as well. No one knows that I have nearly just run my van into a brick wall for lack of being able to turn properly.

Here’s where it gets worse. In an effort to quickly disengage my ridiculously large purse straps from the brilliantly designed Toyota steering wheel, I manage to BREAK OFF the turn signal / headlight device / switch do-hickey. Yes, I physically broke the stem on the piece. A spring came shooting out at lightspeed, and two "O" ring type jobbies went flying off. Believe it or not, I am still mid-turn at this point. I scramble to locate the pieces on the floorboard and manage to stick the end of the missing stem back onto the fitting. My headlights blink on and off several times. So, let’s recap – just for grins.

• It is dusk.
• I am in a city 250 miles away from home with 11 Girl Scouts and two other moms.
• I have headlights that are quite literally on the blink.
• There is no drinking allowed on this trip.

It was a banner day. And next, I got to go up in the tiny little cart into the Arch. I must be out of my mind.

I waited to tell my Big Strong Man about my "little mishap" until our return. At first, he was laughing – until I got to the part about the flying pieces. Then, his face went a little pale as I continued my story. Now, I realize that I am very lucky that I did not have an accident (I honestly can’t remember the last time I had one – - it’s been that long ago…).

But to fix this little number? $270. All for having a purse in my lap. I will never make the same mistake again. Evahhhh. ‘Nuf said.

But today? Today I am thankful for my marriage. But just in case it fails, I’m saving the little "O" ring thingymajigs (see pic above, complete with fixed do-hickey). I think I could pass them off as a really big white trash wedding ring if my BSM leaves me, don’t you?

WhiteTrashMom offers parenting and sanity tips for the school years. If you're new here, you may want to subscribe to our RSS feed. Thanks for stopping by.

Tagged as: mom, moms